The Power of Girlfriends

Photo Credit: blackdoctor.org

Photo Credit: blackdoctor.org

I got the dreaded email stating "___, we regret to inform you.....” I couldn't believe it. I missed out on an opportunity to work at my dream job. So, tears were shed and I called my best girlfriend. 

She heard me out and listened intently. I gave her my sob story and vented. Then, she said “Okay, so you failed this time? Now, what’s next?” At first, I was taken aback. Like, what does she mean what’s next? Did she not just hear me bawling my eyes out? Before I could read her, she said what I already knew.  She said “Sometimes what we want takes more work than we thought. Instead of complaining and crying, do the work”.

Once we hung up the phone, I breathed easier. My energy felt lighter and I felt a little more determined to interview again.  I was honest with myself too. I didn't come to win nor did I have the confidence to follow through. I didn't put in as much hard work as I needed to really make a difference, even though I prepared well. And I heard the word no and it was perfectly okay. I would be okay.

But even though I swallowed my pride, my ego still got the best of me. I spent the next day disappointed. I told myself I should just let go of my dream. I told myself that maybe this wasn't my calling. Of course, my best friend knows me and sent me encouraging texts throughout the day. A voice inside of me said “Have some perspective, girl”. At least I had enough courage to walk into a room filled with business executives and state why I was the best candidate for the job. At least I had an idea of how I could lead my interview better the next time. Hey, at least I did something.  

It wasn't like the world ended. It wasn't like I couldn't start over because of a simple no.  No just meant not yet. It didn’t mean it'll never happen. It just meant that this dream would take more time to come to pass. It's called going through a process. Thankfully, I had a friend who was somewhat going through the process with me. This experience reinforced the need for good, solid female friendships in this world. Because where would you be without your girlfriends?

Michelle Obama spoke at a recent panel hosted by The Obama Foundation. She stated how women's friendships with other women helps them succeed.“Women, we do it better than men…..Get you some friends and talk to each other, cause that’s the other thing we do; we straighten each other out on some things, our girlfriends . . .”

I definitely will have to agree. There hasn't been a time where another woman hasn't backed me up and hasn't given me a shoulder to lean on in times of struggle. Whenever I fell hard, another woman with more wisdom and more experience picked me up. I knew my best friend was my best friend when she said "You could do much better but you're too afraid of your greatness". In that moment, I knew that she was someone I wanted to have in my life for the long haul. It wasn't because she loved thrift shopping and conversations about politics like me, but because she wasn't afraid to call me out. Her keeping it real allowed me to feel more at ease. It transformed our friendship into a sisterhood that I can't fully describe. Let's just say we will go to bat for one another. 

And, as I grew into more of a woman, I became that rock for other woman in similar ways. So I say all this to say, true womanhood starts when you recognize you're only as strong as your sister. If you’re empowered, make sure you reach back and empower another woman. We live in a world intent upon hurting and dividing women. But, we don’t have to let that be our narrative. We as women can change that. Don't allow pettiness and jealousy to keep you from building with another queen. Be willing to adjust your crown and accept her crown for what it is. Because, really, where would you be without your girlfriends?

Article By: Gabrielle Reed

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